Hebrews 12:6-7; 2 Corinthians 1:4, 4:8-9, 17-18; Job 1-42 Most of my life, I've had a hate-hate relationship with pain and suffering. In many ways, compared to most, I have lived a life with not much "suffering" to even talk about. But when I did suffer, I cursed God, I screamed in His face, and … Continue reading Praise The God Who Takes Away
“The Lord is good to all, and His mercy is over all that He has made” {Psalm 145:9} Today I wept over the Lord’s goodness. Frankly this year has not been anything like I envisioned for myself, it’s been hard, and through the hard seasons of this life, I’ve often discounted the Lord’s goodness. But … Continue reading It’s Hard Because He’s Good
"18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now … Continue reading Rid Me of My Flesh
Jesus, from that nervous introduction that turned into a mentor. You are perfectly good. Jesus, on the sad day when you gave me a friend to sit there in the stillness with me. You are perfectly good. Jesus, from the fearful prayer that asked for you to give me clarity, to a passion and calming … Continue reading Perfectly Good
I'm struggling. No other words for it. Somewhere in between overemotional and a mess is where I've been at today...and yesterday...and the last month. Most nights I find myself lying awake waiting for peace, for comfort, for stilling of emotions, for a change of my feelings. But I haven't found peace. I haven't found any … Continue reading Where’s My Peace?
I feel like doubt is something that nobody wants to talk about. Like somehow doubting God just shouldn't happen if you're a "good Christian" but I want to tell you before I go any further, I'm not a good Christian. I've never been all-faithful, all-forgiving, all-loving, or all-trusting. I've never been able to be completely … Continue reading Doubting God When Perfect Feels Like The Standard
Blindsided. Life has seemed so completely good and happy compared to my normal cycle of feelings. Summer has always been such a joyful season to me, but for some reason I've been so bitter and frustrated throughout this one. Unexplainably bitter. and for the longest time, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't make it … Continue reading Bitterness, Even in Joyous Seasons
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our … Continue reading Fully Known
I'm weary. I've been trying to pinpoint my emotions in these last few weeks and this is where I am. Weary. Burdened. Tired. But the other night, as I was praying (and crying) through this, I could just hear Jesus saying to me, "I know you're weary, I know you're tired, but you've got to … Continue reading I Know You’re Weary
"Yeah, Jesus is the one fulfilling me, but right now I just need a friend, a hug, sex, to binge watch some netflix, new things, alcohol, a relationship, a day off, comfort food..." the list goes on. I am so guilty of finding fulfillment in everything except what Jesus supplies. These things themselves aren't bad … Continue reading Jesus Fulfills But…
